Thursday, November 22, 2007
Late for 15 minutes today .Not very busy .Went to buy lunch with Derek .Keep making me repeat the orders .Zzz .It was long lor .Kns .Practised blowing today .Not very good .And fuck ,There were 3 girls who came for interview .For Assistants wors .Fuck .Meaning they are gonna be apprentice ,Just like me .I fucking don't want them to join the company .Maybe i'm afraid of competition .Maybe i'm afraid they will do better than me .Maybe i'm afraid they can mix with the others more than me .Maybe i'm afraid they will be closer to the others more than me .I so don't want them to join .Fuck .I don't like sharing friends .For some its okay of course .But not these friends .And NOT those 3 .Fuck no .Its not about what bloody 'senior' 'junior' thing .Is I DON'T WANNA SHARE .Okay ,I may be selfish ,Its like ,Can share with almost anybody but those 3 .Yes ,I will have more pressure if they join ,Cause i definitely wanna be better than them .But fuck ,I really don't want them to join .I'M FUCKING NOT OKAY !I know i can do better ,But i need motivation ,And only 2 people can give me that .
